#journey – inside her broken mind

Throw it out!

As we approach the Christmas season, my family and I decided to do our major cleaning. I think we scheduled all our major cleaning and so it was pretty much anticipated. However, we always find things that we are afraid to part with, this year was no different, but we had to be decisive

As we sort through bags and boxes we decided to stop. We had decided we were not going to look in another box or bag, instead we were just going to throw them out. Risky right? But it had to be done because we were hoarding things again. Things we had done without for years, but nostalgia wanted us to keep it

Similarly, in life, we tend to habor things that needs to be thrown out or just let go. We keep holding on the past hurt, past love that no longer loves us back and things that have no more value to it. Why? Because we keep reopening those “boxes” and having open them we feel the need to hold onto them. Even, if for years those things never bothered you the moment you stir up old things they come back to life.

I am not saying you should forget your past, I saying that there are some things that you have now outgrown and it needs to go and stay in the past. Stop clinging to that photo, stop clinging to that dress (you are no longer a size two), stop saying “if I knew”. Its time to be progressive and a part of being progressive requires you to releases those baggages that are weighing you down.

Aren’t you tired of the weight? Tired of the hate, the angry, the bitterness, the one sided love? Aren’t tired of starving herself to get back to that size 2? You are a size 10 or whatever and you are fantastic! Throw it out you will be fine.

Self Motivation

Food from the table of her mind

A little motivation to get you through your day

This morning when I got up I was not in the mood to do anything, infact I lazely got out of bed. I had so much that I wanted to do. Today was the day I wanted to finally make my first video for my YouTube channel and upload some Tiktok video. I sat around the table staring at my phone. Running the simulation in my head as to how I wanted the videos to unfold, but I didn’t feel motivated.

Then I decided that I was going to get them done despite how I was feeling. So I got up did my hair in a lively up do, put on my favorite shade of red lipstick, sat infront of my phone and started to record. Almost immediately I came alive. I was fun of so much enjoy and vibes I kept spontaneously erupting in laughter as I made errors.

There are going to be days when you feel so dejected or so demotivated, but if you fight those ill feeling I believe you can cease the day. Sometimes you have to encourage and motivate yourself. You have to be your biggest cheerleader. Friends or family may not always be around to give you that pep talk, but imagine having something so deeply embeded within you, that force itself to the surface on those days when you need the most. Being intrinsically motivated is one of the best arrow in your quiver.

In this very moment I so happy for everything that life has to offer. I am also very happy for the various platform I have to express myself. I am happy for 4 followers on blog, 8 followers on my channel and 1 follower on my tiktok.

PS: It is a huge deal

The wait

Words that matter

Just like that an ordinary Monday morning becomes one of the worst day of your life! I have always been anxious when someone says “we need to talk” or “I have something to tell you”. Then you have to wait a very long time to actually hear what they have to say. That was exactly what happened to me on Sunday night into Monday. Being told someone needed to speak with me “urgently” and I had to wait eight (8) long hours before hearing. So I had to sit, and constantly go through the archive of my mind, retracing my steps to see where I went wrong or messed up

The Nightmare Begins

It was about 7:35am Monday morning when I got the awful news. As the ICN revealed the “urgent” news I stared at her in awe. Too shocked to move and no words to speak. The very thing I dreaded was now in my very lap. The apologies came,but for me it was utterly meaningless brcause apologies cannot erase or undo what had been done. The game plan I had for this situation had not yet been fully completely and as such i had to reorganize my plans to facilitate this misfortune.

The Waiting Game

The wait begins now, as I make my daily dairy log. Checking my temperature and for any symptoms that may develop. Anxiously awaiting my swab date, to undergo a procedure I have always dreaded. But I trust God who is the author and finisher of my faith.