#broken – inside her broken mind

Death Took You Away From Us

I woke up this morning hoping to hear the best for my Best cause we knew how much she was fighting… But we lost her. My heart is broken cause I consider how much of a beautiful person you were how your laughter made us laugh and just how real you were.

I remembered one of our recent, light conversation when you said your birthday was coming up. So we asked about your child and in our dialect you said “Inna mi husband back”. I chuckled so hard then you said “Johnson don’t be like me get married and have children” and responded “honey you have a long wait” and we continue on with our conversation.

When you got sick I thought you would be down for a day or two, and you would come back, telling us about your experience and we would get an insiders story and how it was for you. But death took you away. So here we are again, with broken hearts trying to figure out the next move like how do we look across the room now with the expectations that you will be there and not see you? Who do I pass on corridors and greet by play your names?

I hope you knew you were loved and hope you knew we never stop praying and hope your soul found rest.

Inside her broken mind

Inside her Mind

Feeling inadequate, feeling broken. Overwhelmed by thoughts that keeps her awake more often than you can imagine…. Her mind is broken scarred from the demands of life, bond by unwritten contract that is ever so present. She cries for help but her cries goes unnoticed. So now more than ever in her broken mind she resides… What an awful place to be!! Especially when her mind is so vulnerable!! She is so vulnerable.

Death broke us today

Words that matter

Death broke our hearts today. Sleep in peace.

I’m sorry that you are having difficulty breathing.I see how hard you have been trying and inspite of all the medical intervention it remains the same and can see the fear in your eyes as you get worst.

I’m sorry you are so restless thinking that if you close your eyes now then you will never get to open them again.

I’m sorry that you have to be locked away on an unit isolation and because of that you cannot see your family and cannot see ypi either. I’m sorry they cannot hold your hands and lay on your chest and reassure that you are loved. I become your medium of communication for now. I’m sorry that you are struggling to complete your sentences to convey your messages, but I’m patient so I stay and listen awhile as you gradually compose it.

I’m sorry that you have reverted to a baby stage of using a diaper again and even though I’ve reassured you a thousand times that its fine and I will change you when needs be and you’ve done nothing wrong I watch you cry.

I’m sorry that your strength is fading and i can see it in your eyes how weak and worn you are but you still fight.

I’m sorry that you took your very last breath today I was waiting on you to start breathing on your owe again, i was waiting for your family to hear you are making improvements, i was waiting on you to say to me you were feeling better, I was waiting on you to laugh like you use to and I was waiting to see that radiate smile I had been accustomed to, shine again.

I’m sorry you couldn’t hold on a bit longer to see your sons and daughters give your grandchildren. They’ll never know to joy of laying on your bosom that some how seems to have magical power making them find rest in your owe unique way.

Im sorry that death is a part of us and that you had to trod that road so fast.
Death broke us today we mourn you sweet lady.

But I See

Inside her Mind

I see the look that you carry in your eyes, how it lights up during my absence and how it dwindles with my presence.

I know that you are whispering behind my back. I see the smirk on your faces as you slander my name with false accusations and assumptions.

I see the pressure you pile on me hoping that I will break. Hoping that you will get to laugh at my defeat.

I pretend to be oblivious of the plot you are forming. The tricks that you are pulling. I am sweet by nature its not in my blood to be rude. I’m humble, I’m considerate, I’m loyal and I’m friendly. Sometimes people use these quality to hurt me or mistreat me.

Don’t exploit the good quality people have for your own gain.

This world can be so unfriendly and so unkind. Why not be the changes instead of adding to the problem.