inside her broken mind

Throw it out!

As we approach the Christmas season, my family and I decided to do our major cleaning. I think we scheduled all our major cleaning and so it was pretty much anticipated. However, we always find things that we are afraid to part with, this year was no different, but we had to be decisive

As we sort through bags and boxes we decided to stop. We had decided we were not going to look in another box or bag, instead we were just going to throw them out. Risky right? But it had to be done because we were hoarding things again. Things we had done without for years, but nostalgia wanted us to keep it

Similarly, in life, we tend to habor things that needs to be thrown out or just let go. We keep holding on the past hurt, past love that no longer loves us back and things that have no more value to it. Why? Because we keep reopening those “boxes” and having open them we feel the need to hold onto them. Even, if for years those things never bothered you the moment you stir up old things they come back to life.

I am not saying you should forget your past, I saying that there are some things that you have now outgrown and it needs to go and stay in the past. Stop clinging to that photo, stop clinging to that dress (you are no longer a size two), stop saying “if I knew”. Its time to be progressive and a part of being progressive requires you to releases those baggages that are weighing you down.

Aren’t you tired of the weight? Tired of the hate, the angry, the bitterness, the one sided love? Aren’t tired of starving herself to get back to that size 2? You are a size 10 or whatever and you are fantastic! Throw it out you will be fine.

They are Looking

Words that matter

A few months ago I had to privilege of helping with the take care of a critically ill person. I poured my heart into it, as I always do because I believe in giving the best care possible. As the days progressed I continued to do by very best. I was reassigned to another area in middle care as such, I was not able to be there for the duration of the person’s stay. I was elate though when I heard of the recovery they had made.

Today while I was at my local supermarket walking along side my mother she began to tell me how a lady came to her today to express how grateful she was about the care I had given to her relative. The person voiced to my mother, that I was an angel sent by God. This lady was looking at me while I was rendering care and I had no idea, how much she was recording in her mind my actions. She even knew my mother (which i didn’t know) so much so, she found her in person so she could relay a message of gratitude. I was so happy and my heart as been so merry after hearing

Some days your jobs get so hard, stressful and very demanding, but do not forget why you choose to do what you are doing. Give of your best service in what ever you are doing amidst those days. They may not say it immediately, but they are taking notes. Someone has been praying for a smooth day and you could be the very answer to their prayer.

PS: PCR is Negative

Bitter Moments

Food from the table of her mind

One of the most popular “bush” tea in Jamaica is the cerasee tea. One of the most notable thing about this tea is how bitter it is and also leaves that taste lingering in your mouth for a while. Like this tea, situations in life can be just as unpleasant.You have a choice though, you can choose only to remember the unpleasant moment, or, you can take the lesson it has to offer.

Every moment in your life is, or can be a teachable one, it all depends on how you look at it. The reality is not everyday of you life will be filled with smooth sailing and happiness, but it does not mean that your entire life will be full of hardships either.

Life is a mixture of things, mixture of different moments. It is filled with joy, happiness, sadness, heartbreak, Love, laughter, betrayal, peace, bitter moments, sweet moments and a lot more. But all of these combine the make life interesting, fun and unpredictable. Remember always that life is a gift, live life, love life and laugh hard.

Self Motivation

Food from the table of her mind

A little motivation to get you through your day

This morning when I got up I was not in the mood to do anything, infact I lazely got out of bed. I had so much that I wanted to do. Today was the day I wanted to finally make my first video for my YouTube channel and upload some Tiktok video. I sat around the table staring at my phone. Running the simulation in my head as to how I wanted the videos to unfold, but I didn’t feel motivated.

Then I decided that I was going to get them done despite how I was feeling. So I got up did my hair in a lively up do, put on my favorite shade of red lipstick, sat infront of my phone and started to record. Almost immediately I came alive. I was fun of so much enjoy and vibes I kept spontaneously erupting in laughter as I made errors.

There are going to be days when you feel so dejected or so demotivated, but if you fight those ill feeling I believe you can cease the day. Sometimes you have to encourage and motivate yourself. You have to be your biggest cheerleader. Friends or family may not always be around to give you that pep talk, but imagine having something so deeply embeded within you, that force itself to the surface on those days when you need the most. Being intrinsically motivated is one of the best arrow in your quiver.

In this very moment I so happy for everything that life has to offer. I am also very happy for the various platform I have to express myself. I am happy for 4 followers on blog, 8 followers on my channel and 1 follower on my tiktok.

PS: It is a huge deal

Forgiveness

Food from the table of her mind

It was Lewis B. Smedes who said “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you”. In this world it is so easy to hold onto the hurt, the betrayal and the anger instead of letting go. As I put pen to paper to make my jottings, I recognize how easy it is to actually write or even say these words as opposed to doing it. But considering the benefits and freedom that comes with forgiving its worth taking the risk to try it.

Unforgiveness

While it may seem as though you have won by haboring unforgiveness, but you are actually loosing. You are involuntarily giving you heart more room to entertain hatred. You are also giving the person or persons who hurt you the permission to live in your heart. Carolyn Miller stated “Unforgiveness is a poison that shrivels the heart. It means a person cannot truly live in the present as they’re always thinking about the past”. The past is very important, but to constantly live in it and having it dictate your life is not acceptable.

When you forgive a person its not about them, it’s about you and your hearts. Its for you to be free, heal and grow. Conquer hate, never let hate conquer you.

Second Impression

Words that matter

In my heart of hearts, I believe that God lines up destiny and he align moments perfectly. A while back I met a doctor and my first impression was not good, it pretty much left a bitter taste in my mouth. While everyone would voice how much of a good person this doctor was, I remain too hooked on the past to even give the doctor the time of day to redeem himself. For a short time I was very petty.

Recently, I had another impression of this doctor, after I decided to move pass the incident and try to see the “good” in him. I can firmly say I am happy I did. He is a doctor who actually listens, take advise and is extremely thorough in is job, and as a health care worker this is well appreciated.

They say first impression last and I do believe this but I also believe that second impressions are important too and can be just as lasting.

Take a second look. Second impressions are just as good.

The wait

Words that matter

Just like that an ordinary Monday morning becomes one of the worst day of your life! I have always been anxious when someone says “we need to talk” or “I have something to tell you”. Then you have to wait a very long time to actually hear what they have to say. That was exactly what happened to me on Sunday night into Monday. Being told someone needed to speak with me “urgently” and I had to wait eight (8) long hours before hearing. So I had to sit, and constantly go through the archive of my mind, retracing my steps to see where I went wrong or messed up

The Nightmare Begins

It was about 7:35am Monday morning when I got the awful news. As the ICN revealed the “urgent” news I stared at her in awe. Too shocked to move and no words to speak. The very thing I dreaded was now in my very lap. The apologies came,but for me it was utterly meaningless brcause apologies cannot erase or undo what had been done. The game plan I had for this situation had not yet been fully completely and as such i had to reorganize my plans to facilitate this misfortune.

The Waiting Game

The wait begins now, as I make my daily dairy log. Checking my temperature and for any symptoms that may develop. Anxiously awaiting my swab date, to undergo a procedure I have always dreaded. But I trust God who is the author and finisher of my faith.

Just do it!

Words that matter

Take a leap of faith. Stop putting things off. It is your time! Sign up for that school! Send out those job application! Try something new! Make that move. I know its easier to say later than tackling right away but procrastinating will get you no where. Your voice needs to be heard, you have a story to tell you audience is waiting. So get up and just do it!!

Friendship

Food from the table of her mind

For me, friendships are extremely important and I hold them very dear to my heart. So rest assured if I tell you that you are my friend, I mean it in every sense of the word and you are held in high regards in my heart. So you will understand when I say my circle of friends is small and my inner circle of friends is even smaller.

Your friends should want to see you win and level up, being the best version of yourself as much as possible. You need people in your circle who can motivate you on those days when you need some extra encouragement. They should cheer loudly for you especially on those days when you just want to throw in the towel.

Recently I express to one of my inner circle friends that I wanted to do something new. When she heard my idea she instantly became one of my biggest supporter. She said “I will promote you, I even have some (referring to the concept I had just shared) that I want you to try” . When I express one fear that I had she instantly destroyed that fear and said what you are bringing to the table is different. In your life you will need friends like this who will cheer so loudly for you that the very doubts or fears you had seem so obsolete.

Your Inner Circle Friends

The word inner already suggest the position of those friends hold. It speaks to a different level of closeness that they hold in your life. These are the persons that know you on a personal level that knows detailed information about you and in essences knows you extremely well. The reality is not everyone you call friend is at this level. Some are mere acquaintance, so stop giving unnecessary information to them and expecting certain behavior from these acquaintance. Know your circle and the people in it.

Know when to walk away

Some friendships can be toxic and you just need to leave. You don’t have to argue you can peaceful back away. Sweetie you cannot continue pouring into something that is not going anywhere. A friendship should not be one sided, it has to be two sided. When a friendship or relationship becomes a one sided thing then my dear just walk away. Always remember Choose people who choose you.

Rainy days

Words that matter

Recently my country was subjected to several consective days of intense rain fall. As cliche as this may sound, I must say, for a while many of us did not think it would stop. In the space of mere weeks two hurricanes passed by my little island and although we were spared from the full effect of the hurricane, the trial it left behind was brutal. Things once taken for “granted” had now found its owe signiciant space in our hearts.

Known for its beautiful, lush vegetation and emaculate scenery, my fellow citizen and I were forced to watch as the rains pelted crops and destroyed roads as well as caused mayhem in the lives of its victims. Many news of severe flooding, lost of lives, completely destruction of roads and landslides filled the press. This was a very hard period but gradually the rain slowly stopped.

What the rain taught us

The rain opened our eyes as to how tunneled our vision had become since the start of this Covid pandemic. It had created somewhat a veil over our memory that we are in what is dubbed the hurricane season. Much like life, we sometimes allow our vision to be so narrowed by certain circumstances that may arise with the sole intention of crippling us or leaving other critical areas of our life unattented to. Which inturn does more harm than we had anticipated. So what has the rain taught us! It taught us to find balance and not to allow any one thing to hold us or our focus hostage. How to find new ways and means of coping with sudden misfortune and how to adapt our previous plans to accommodate this misfortune as well as how to be grateful for the little things life has to offer.

I do sympathize with the countries that we dealt a heavy blow and hope that there ecomony will gradually find it footing amidst hurricanes and the global pandemic.