I find that when people has little to no information about you they try to create their own perception of who you are and what you do. Keep it that way, let them speculate.
They may make subtle jabs at what you have chosen, the stance you taken and this has to do with their need for you to say something they can “run” with. Please don’t give them anything, starve them.
Protect your peace, protect you, protect your personal space. Encourage yourself on those days when their comments hit you a little different.
Hey you! You are doing great. Continue making those little moves cause I know its leading to something bigger. You got this!
The week that just went by made me want to throw in the towel. I’ve gone through a whole roller coaster of emotions. I was angry to the point where I became silent. Then I was crying for two consecutive days cause I had lost a colleague, and then I smiled and celebrated with my friend. I real roller coaster.
I never imagined that when I graduated university I would face a pandemic and one of this nature. I use to read books about outbreaks of diseases and how those persons had to fight. I never imagine this would be my reality too.
I didn’t know that in this 21 century where deem ourselves well advanced in technology and knowledge a virus would send to our knees.
I cry because I am human, I have emotions and I am hurting. I live for the day I can step outside smell they fresh air and feel the cool breeze on my face, but as I look at I see that reality escaping us.
My heart aches but I remember God’s words. If it were in this life we had hope we would be men most miserable. I take comfort in God and his word.
Feeling inadequate, feeling broken. Overwhelmed by thoughts that keeps her awake more often than you can imagine…. Her mind is broken scarred from the demands of life, bond by unwritten contract that is ever so present. She cries for help but her cries goes unnoticed. So now more than ever in her broken mind she resides… What an awful place to be!! Especially when her mind is so vulnerable!! She is so vulnerable.
Just a little broken… Sometimes hurt people unintentionally hurt other people. Give it sometime.
I have been a little sad recently to the point where I have basically stopped talking a lot. I know what the power of a good talk can do, but sometimes its hard to put your emotions and thoughts into words that will be effectively conveyed what I’m feeling.
In the last two to three weeks I have cried a lot for no apparent reason. I have laid in bed crippled by many thoughts which cause me to delaying many things because I was not in a good place.
If you feel like im a little distant I may be. But just give me some time, be patient with me a little while longer. I’m just a little broken.
So years ago while in college this guy started pursuing me. I really didn’t want anything to do with a relationship I wanted to finish college and to be having a relationship would be a distraction.
I made that clear, but he continued and gradually I started liking him back. He had ask me several times to be his girlfriend and my answer was a strong no. Then when I had fallen for him and he asked again a said yes.
I remember having a major exam about a week after saying yes to this guy. I was super anxious about this exam, which he knew of course. A day before the exam he calls me up and said “I think I ran ahead of myself I don’t want a relationship with you anymore”. I said ok.
On the day of my exam was thinking about my exam and the this guy and I felt this tension building up in my head. I stopped reading, knelt infront of my father and asked him to pray for me and he did. I went through my exam and did very well. When I got home I cried. I cried not because of him not wanting a relationship with me, but because I felt like I had let myself down.
I have always been someone who guards themselves very well so as to not get hurt and the moment I let my guard down this happened. I remember telling myself this will never happen again.
Why am I reflecting on this now? A couple days ago some one said, some times we need to get away and cancel the noise. This really hit home for me, because I recognize that this guy had been my noise. Because of him I had put barriers in place to prevent any other guy hurting me. I loathe him for betraying my trust and ruining our friendship.
But I have learned that canceling the noise makes you feel so much better and free.
I see the look that you carry in your eyes, how it lights up during my absence and how it dwindles with my presence.
I know that you are whispering behind my back. I see the smirk on your faces as you slander my name with false accusations and assumptions.
I see the pressure you pile on me hoping that I will break. Hoping that you will get to laugh at my defeat.
I pretend to be oblivious of the plot you are forming. The tricks that you are pulling. I am sweet by nature its not in my blood to be rude. I’m humble, I’m considerate, I’m loyal and I’m friendly. Sometimes people use these quality to hurt me or mistreat me.
Don’t exploit the good quality people have for your own gain.
This world can be so unfriendly and so unkind. Why not be the changes instead of adding to the problem.
inside her broken mind 