So years ago while in college this guy started pursuing me. I really didn’t want anything to do with a relationship I wanted to finish college and to be having a relationship would be a distraction.
I made that clear, but he continued and gradually I started liking him back. He had ask me several times to be his girlfriend and my answer was a strong no. Then when I had fallen for him and he asked again a said yes.
I remember having a major exam about a week after saying yes to this guy. I was super anxious about this exam, which he knew of course. A day before the exam he calls me up and said “I think I ran ahead of myself I don’t want a relationship with you anymore”. I said ok.
On the day of my exam was thinking about my exam and the this guy and I felt this tension building up in my head. I stopped reading, knelt infront of my father and asked him to pray for me and he did. I went through my exam and did very well. When I got home I cried. I cried not because of him not wanting a relationship with me, but because I felt like I had let myself down.
I have always been someone who guards themselves very well so as to not get hurt and the moment I let my guard down this happened. I remember telling myself this will never happen again.
Why am I reflecting on this now? A couple days ago some one said, some times we need to get away and cancel the noise. This really hit home for me, because I recognize that this guy had been my noise. Because of him I had put barriers in place to prevent any other guy hurting me. I loathe him for betraying my trust and ruining our friendship.
But I have learned that canceling the noise makes you feel so much better and free.
inside her broken mind 